Second City, My Ass!!: The Weekend Calendar

For those of us who've been frustrated by the Reader's Critics' Choices lately (I still can't get Liz Armstrong's Britney Spears recommendation out of my head and she follows it up with JC Chasez) here's some to-do's this weekend that don't require playing Hipster Bingo at the Empty Bottle or having to arm yourself within a two-mile radius of Wrigley Field. Take a chance and see how the other third lives:

Friday

- Where were you when the cops raided HotHouse last year? Full Disclosure: I was behind the bar trying to recapture my lost income in Maker's Mark. Anyhoo, the drinks'll be flowing like floodwater through Deep Tunnel tonight (Hello, Goose Island "312" Urban Wheat Ale.) Go see Marvin Tate's D-Settlement ring in seventeen years of HotHouse sticking it to the man's homogeny. They promise this'll be the last show EVER!

- Sign of the Apocalypse #1: Jazz singers are doing residencies at Jazz Showcase. Go down this weekend and see one of the best going, Karrin Allyson.

Sabado Gigante

- On-line and broadsheet rag The 2nd Hand (I say that with affection) celebrates the release of it's new collected anthology All Hands On with a live reading at The Stray Show. Go out and support good Chicago writing.

- Give a hipster two turntables and he thinks he's DJ Logic. Go check out Tag Team DJ's at the Hideout, hope they match the BPMs, get drunk and request lots of 80's hair metal.

- One-hit wonder Bree Sharp hits Gunther Murphys. $8.00 will get you a bunch of songs you never heard and one song ("David Duchovny") you couldn't get out of your head four years ago.

- Looking for a nice appletini in Bridgeport? Hah! We take our drinking seriously at Puffer's; small batch bourbons and a beer menu that'll make any Irish bar in Lincoln Park green with envy. Go down there, catch Nomad Planets, and tip Al really well. He don't wear those leather pants for comfort.

SUNDAYSUNDAYSUNDAY

- It's Mother's Day and you stuck Mom with the brunch tab again. Do her a solid and take her to see Jim Jarmusch's "Dead Man" at the Music Box. She'll wish you just phoned.

- After you freaked out Mom with "Dead Man", head on over to Beat Kitchen for "Mish Mash Variety Night".