Second City My Ass!!: "Here Comes The Sun... and Sunburn."

This is the time of year where Chicagoans doff the windbreakers and start acting as though we've never seen the sun. Overcompensation abounds as pasty white thighs give way to red necks and Noxema. Here's what you can do to get a great sunburn:


THANK GOD IT'S FRIDAY:

- I've been saying for years that Bridgeport is the new Wicker Park. I was only half-joking. Head to the Texas Ballroom at 3012 S. Archer to see nihlist Quebecers Les Georges Leningrad, a band apparently so terrible and/or ironic they received- surprise, surprise- a Critic's Choice in the Reader from anti-music critic Liz Armstrong.

- Danger Mouse & Jemini at the Logan Square Auditorium. Danger Mouse is a damn genius: I absolutely love The Grey Album, the only way I could ever listen to Jay-Z.

SABADOS GIGANTES:

- Printer's Row Book Fair gets going. A recommendation: catch Quraysh Ali Lansana reading from his book "Harriet Tubman's Poems" in the poetry tent, a movingly brilliant series of original poems he wrote from Ms. Tubman's perspective.

- The Belmont/Sheffield Music Festival looks to further congest an area already overtaxed from the Cubs being in town. This festival of cover bands and faux-hippie jammers rates a "major dumb drunk" alert. But if you do have to go, don't pay the suggested "donation"; you'll only ensure that this'll happen next year.

SUNDAYSUNDAYSUNDAY:

- Enjoy a nice bike ride to Hyde Park and check out the Hyde Park- U of C Arts Fest. Then treat yourself to brunch at Dixie Kitchen.

- If you're like me and believe the Christian adage that the body is the temple but can afford to treat your temple a bit better, then pack a bottle of the Blood of Christ and head to the Chicago Gospel Festival in Grant Park. Smokey Robinson (yeah, him) opens the Petrillo Bandshell Festivities at 4:45 p.m.

Finally, if anyone's even reading this and/or interested, you can watch me wallow in my own filth while accepting drinks from well-wishers and the genuinely concerned at Puffer's. It's Bloody Mary Sunday and, believe me, you've never had a bloody mary like this one. Have a nice weekend.