I'm gonna have to suck it up and buy an air conditioner this summer. I had an idea that was great in theory- and absolute genius after six bottles of La Fin Du Monde- that I could devise an airflow system in my apartment by which I took in cooler air from the shaded side of the apartment, blew it out from the side that faces the sun, and used a dehumidifier to suck the moisture out of the air. This would allow me to enjoy my apartment in relative comfort and without the high ComEd bills that result from having an air conditioner.
Then I remembered today that I live in Chicago, where weather has no set rules and summer is anarchy.
The fans are in the windows, but they don't do much except stir up the already muggy air in the apartment. So I gently lift myself from my computer chair every fifteen minutes to wipe off the sweat that's pooled on the back, curse the fans for doing nothing but rattle the windows, and go back to pretending that it's a pleasant spring day.
Another flaw in my logic was that I would need five fans to accomplish this system, one for every window. If I'm gonna buy that many goddamn fans, I might as well buy an air conditioner.
Oh, well. At least I have that nice bottle of tequila in the pantry for margaritas if this fails even more miserably than it has so far.