Thursday, June 24, 2004

If Jack Ryan stood a chance I'd be donating a half-barrel...

but he doesn't. I'm donating a 1/4 barrel keg of beer to a "Ba-Rock The House" party next Tuesday in Pilsen, with proceeds to go to Barack Obama's Senate campaign (e-mail me if you want to attend.)

Incredibly, Jack Ryan still thinks he has a shot at beating Obama in November. I still can't believe he couldn't get his wife interested in relatively tame kink. I mean, if I were married to Jerri Ryan and wanting to spice up the marriage I'm relatively certain I could get her to dress up as Seven of Nine so she could "assimilate me into the Borg" every night.

Steve Dahl put a wonderful spin on the Ryan story the other day on his radio show. Ryan should've called the press conference, but instead of flopping like Nixon in the 1960 debates he should've said this:

"My marriage was in trouble. My ex-wife is an actress in Hollywood and I thought that she might have been into this as a way to spice things up and save the marriage." Mention that he later found out she was cheating on him and that the marriage was then irreconcilable. The state and national Republican brass is still pissed, but impressed with how he handled it. The damage is kept to a minimum. The onus of proof and speculation is now put on Jerri Ryan. It could have been his "Checkers" speech.

Instead, Ryan tanked. And because being a Senator is becoming an increasingly rich man's game, Ryan still thinks his fortune can help him dig out of the hole he now finds himself. Before he becomes even more delusional he should ask Blair Hull how his fortune helped him to a third place finish in the Democratic Primary.

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