This story reminds me of the time my stepfather sat me down to explain sex when we lived in Tennessee. It was a lesson that combined crass vulgarity with uncomfortable drunkenness and culminated with him offering to enlist the services of a "colored hooker" whom he frequented on the other side of Pickwick Dam he saw on the side to "get my dick wet."
But that's a story for another day, one I've been rewriting for years now because I don't think I've captured the full absurdity of the experience.
Wonder if the hooker looked like the stripper in the news piece?
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