Notes For Monday

From the "No Shit!" Department:

- "Poor films explain box office slump", though it probably won't force the major studios to, you know, actually develop original films or put their muscle behind young, talented filmmakers.

Quote Of The Day:

"Friends, mark my inerrant words: soon, Iraq will join America in also being a brittle theocracy so bilious in partisan distain that it too will one day get civilized enough to tear the mothers of dead soldiers to pieces." - From the desk of America's Best Christian, Mrs. Betty Bowers

It's been a relatively slow day. I'm trying to process yesterday's breakfast conversation with Mom. It was all about power of attorney and, the enforcing of her living will should she become incapacitated, and burial arrangements. You're forced to face your own mortality when you're talking with a parent about how he or she wants to die. I vainly tried to shift the focus of the conversation back to the sausage gravy, but Mom felt it was too important to give me tips on how to get the gravy thich and free of lumps:

Mom: I want to be cremated.

Me: That's great, Mom. Do you sift the flour into the pan or do you just spoon it right in there?

Mom: And if you can find a discreet place to scatter my ashes, I'd like you to do that.

Me: Is this sage sausage?

Mom: Because I think the law forbids you to scatter ashes.

Me: Can I get your biscuit recipe, Mom?

With my stepfather's cancer episodes not fully behind him and Mom using a walker more frequently these days I don't fault her for prioritizing her arrangements. The needy child in me doesn't want to think about the day when I can't call my mother to be there (not that I call her these days). Seeing her use sheer will to struggle to move around on a bad hip she can't get replaced, because doctors feel she wouldn't survive an operation between her heart problems, hypertension, and diabetes, is frightening. And yet, as the road ahead comes to a close, she seems content. They both do.

I think evangelicals should look at my parents as an example on how to conduct their golden years with dignity and not with this pious arrogance and hypocritical influence that they're exerting.