Wednesday, November 17, 2004

What's Your Best Line?

I was accused of flirting the other night, though I still protest my innocence since I didn't get the girl. It reminded me of an exchange I was privy to hearing a couple years back:

A jeweler acquaintence of mine was working some last-minute holiday sales when this drunken goofball sidled up to her table and drooled all over a set of earrings priced at $75. She was completely professional, replaced the earrings and engaged the drunk in her sales pitch.

The drunk was struck by her beauty and suddenly decided that what he most wanted under his tree at Christmas was her. "Wassyername?" He slurred.

"Oona," she replied.

The dude scratched his head, slackjawed the entire time. "Thassa pretty name. Thassasame name as Cholly Chaplin's wife, ainnit?"


"Ssso ya sspell dat 'ooh-ooh-en-ay', right?"

To this day I still wonder what would have happened if she said no.

No comments: